Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door

  • Genres: Role-playing (RPG)
  • Platforms: Nintendo Switch
  • Studios: Nintendo, Intelligent Systems
  • Release Date: 05/22/2024

Join Mario in a remastered RPG adventure as he tries to unlock ancient secrets in Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door. Will he succeed or fold?

Once upon a not-so-ordinary day in the Mushroom Kingdom, our beloved, mustachioed hero, Mario, received an oddly textured invitation. Yes, my dear friends, everything is about to get quite papery around here. That’s right, it’s a call back to the wildly creative and crafty world of Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door, now polished and remastered for your gaming delight!

Let’s set the scene: Mario, who’s never one to shy away from a cryptic quest (or a princess in peril), finds himself knee-deep in confetti and drama right from the get-go. This adventure isn’t just a simple unfold-and-win scenario. Nope. We’re dealing with a door—no, not your average kitchen door—this is the fabled Thousand-Year Door, people! A legend wound up so tightly with mystery and folded secrets, even the origami enthusiasts can’t resist.

Our heroic clip art battles through the likes of Rogueport, a town so shady you’d think the sun had permanently set on the place. Here, thieves, pirates, and other sketchy characters are as common as a misplaced comma in a hastily written text message. But does that deter our paper-thin protagonist? Absolutely not!

In his quest, Mario teams up with a vibrant cast of characters, each more uniquely two-dimensional than the last. There’s Goombella, an archeology student with intelligence that certainly isn’t flat and a knack for headbonking; Koops, the shy Koopa with a shell as hard as his resolve; and let’s not forget Madame Flurrie, a wind spirit with a breath so powerful, it could probably blow out your birthday candles!

Together, they puzzle through dungeons sprinkled with strategic battles that would dazzle even the most seasoned of turn-based tacticians. Imagine challenging a big boss to a fight where you actually have to think about your next three moves. Shocking in today’s hack-slash-repeat gaming ethos, right?

But pause your button-smashing hysteria, there's more to talk about! Our plucky hero doesn't just waltz from battle to battle. Oh no, he performs! The battles are a stage, literally. An audience watches and reacts as if binge-watching their favorite Saturday morning cartoon brawl. Perform well, and they cheer you on, throwing helpful items and applause your way. Flub your lines (or, in this case, your moves), and watch their disdain throw rotten tomatoes at your pride.

And the visual vibrancy! It’s like jumping into a pop-up book illustrated by an artist who mainlined rainbows and espresso. Yes, the remaster has taken the already charming paper aesthetics and cranked them up to an eye-pleasing high-definition palette that would make even the dreariest of rainy Sunday afternoons feel like a fiesta.

What’s a Mario adventure without puzzles that twist your brain into knots only a boy scout could untangle? From dodging traps sharper than a papercut on your fingertip to navigating mazes that would stump a lab rat, our hero proves yet again that brain is just as mighty as brawn—even if both are made of paper.

The journey to the Thousand-Year Door is littered with witty dialogue so sharp it could give you a paper cut. The humor isn’t just folded in; it’s an integral part of the tapestry that makes this game as memorable as your first paper airplane flight—an unmitigated disaster, yet profoundly delightful.

Will Mario unlock the secrets behind the Thousand-Year Door, or will he simply crumple under the pressure like a poorly constructed origami swan? That, my friends, is a story waiting to be unfolded by you. Grab your controllers, and dust off your problem-solving hats (Mario caps encouraged but not included), and prepare to dive into a world where action, adventure, and a little bit of accordion-style animation await.

Whether you’re here for nostalgia or new to this paper parade, one thing’s for sure: in the world of Paper Mario, adventure always has a way of creeping up on you, especially when it’s been artfully remastered to bring back all those feels, with a side of crisply enhanced pixels. So, unfold your gaming skills and get ready to help Mario turn the page on another epic quest.